4.23.2010

success! i did it!

I scrapped just one layout, closed Photoshop (even though I wanted to keep scrapping), and didn't put off uploading until after I'd scrapped even more. Just to prove to myself that I could. Haha. And my other challenge to blog more than once this week? Doin' that, too!

I came across these random photos of my two youngest sons (Jace and Joey) last night and needed to scrap them. I wish I had journaled more back then. I have my memories, I just wish they were more vivid in my mind. How did I feel in those moments of holding my two precious babies in my lap, with their heads on my chest, and rocking them to sleep for their nap every day? Raising babies and toddlers isn't easy (not that it's rocket science either, but I know most moms can relate, huh?). I was stressed out more often than not, but those rocking-babes-to-sleep-moments... are what kept me going everyday. I miss it, and wish I could remember more of my thoughts and feelings at the time.

01-2004-lookback 
(credits here)

[journaling: My oh my, how I miss these days! Having two babies (19 months apart) at home all day and two boys in school was the highlight of my “career”
as a stay-at-home-mom. Sometimes it was tough, and I often wished to never have to change another diaper again - but at the same time I loved every minute of it! My days were full of slobbery kisses, sweet little hugs, and what seemed like hours of rocking and cuddling. Of course, there was a lot of playing, too. I wouldn’t trade any of that for the world! Six years later, there are no more diapers to change (thankfully), no chins to wipe, no peek-a-boo games, but I am still fortunate to consider myself mostly a SAHM. All four boys are in school these days, but I am able to be with them after school, during their vacations, and when they are sick. I am so proud and happy to be Mama to so many gorgeous boys. My only wish is that they would stop growing up so fast! I miss the times that have gone by, but there’s still so much to look forward to as they grow into young men and adults. I will cherish every minute of it, forever & always!
]


Journaling is honestly NOT my favorite part of scrapbooking. I feel awkward in my storytelling, always have. But I need to journal more, so I'm trying to loosen up a little bit. Who cares if my grammar stinks, I put too many commas out of place, or if I make typo after typo? NOT the people I'm preserving memories for, right? Right. So the next thing on my list of self challenges is to journal more frequently (even if I am doing it in the form of a blog post), while the memories are still fresh. Because after weeks, months, or years I will have forgotten the little details.

Update on the cell phone: Jason came home from work the other night and thought my phone in a container of rice trick was baloney! The next day I hooked the phone up to the charger, turned it on, and it worked. Unfortunately though, some of the buttons are still sticking, so he's going to need a new phone. Jason knows someone who knows someone who works at Verizon so with that connection we will be able to get Jared a replacement for free. Good news! I don't feel like such a bad mom for not realizing it was in his pocket now.

Update on Josh's driving test: He passed and is now an officially licensed driver. Oi. He doesn't have a car yet. Nor a job, but he is looking for one, so maybe he'll have his own ride soon. I'm not looking forward to the first time he pulls out of our driveway to go somewhere on his own. Already when he leaves with his friends, I get choked up inside. Now that he's older and less tolerant of my overprotective ways, I have to hide my nervousness. He's always saying, "I'll be OK, Mama. Promise." And I know he means it, he is a good kid with a huge heart and good intentions, but teenagers are scary! So,  seriously... every time he walks out the door, a huge chunk of my heart goes with him. Gotta let them flap their wings every once in a while, but it's hard for this Mama to let go.

I don't know if I'm coming down with a cold or if all the pollen and crap in the air has finally caught up to me, but I'm feeling horribly ill today. Sore itchy eyes, scratchy throat, drainage, cough, lightheadedness. Really just feeling gross. I don't like taking medicine at all, but I can't stand this! Hoping to find something at the drugstore that'll help. Jace has a game tonight and Joey has one tomorrow and I really want to go without being miserable.

Thrilled that it's the weekend! I'm off...

2 comments:

Tania said...

I have to admit that I've always thought your journaling is always too small to read, bad eyes over here, so thanks for reposting it in the blog. Girl, that was beautiful!!! Brought me to tears almost! Such a beautiful layout. I hope you share more stories with us. I wub you. I am overwhelmed with one in school and one not, and I just think, man Jess has 4 BOYS!! You're my hero! WUB YOU!

Kim Jensen said...

Totally fabulous layout, Jess! Love the photo, the colors, the composition... and your shadowing is perfect! Such sweet journaling. I don't have such fond memories of the baby days. The kids were cute as can be, but with sleep issues, feeding issues, etc., I was always so tired and completely stressed out, and I think there was probably some mild PPD in there. I did actually attempt to start a blog when Kaylee was a newborn, and I cringe when I look at the little bit I did write. Some things are better not to remember quite so clearly.:b Maybe if I'd had four kids, I could have appreciated it more by the time I got to the last two. LOL

I've been wanting to up my blogging more too, but I find that I'm just not... um... mentally verbal these days. It's not that I worry about how great what I'd write would be; it's more that I can visualize but have a hard time putting it into words at all. I don't know if it's just that I'm so out of practice, or maybe all the zillions of pictures I've been taking have overwritten the verbal part of my brain. :b

Hooray on the phone, and congrats to Josh! I can only imagine how scary that must be for you. It's so hard to not be able to protect them all the time. Hope the allergies or whatever clear up soon!